Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Mental Struggle and conflict of Breastfeeding - 喂人奶的矛盾

Yes... as I am a very stubborn person.. I can be really "degil" (in Malay word) that if I want to do it mean no one else can change my mind.. specially in breastfeeding.. with all the hormonal changes within my body if you are saying something that is not really goes the way I want it to be.. so sorry.. I can't be really polite to you this round.. this happened to my mum in law.. which she doubts about whether I have milk or not.. not only this round also for my previous baby too.. So it really annoyed me to maximum.. why can't she just give support to me??
I just need support from people around me.. which I know I can make it and I can do it this round too.. I just need sometimes to build up my volumes.. and I just need your SUPPORT!!!! Don't give me doubtful eyes.. and don't say anything negative in front of me!!! I hate it!!!
Do you think I don't have doubts on myself?? Do you think I don't struggle on my decision? Do you think I don't have conflict (矛盾)??? I tell you now.. YES I HAVE ALL THE DOUBTS.. STURGGLES.. CONFLICTS WITHIN MYSELF!!!.. It is really not an easy task for a mother who decide who want to fully breastfeed their babies.. I believe all mother have to go through this stage before we can successful in breastfeeding.. for the first few days after delivery.. the milk supply is really low.. and if baby is a big eater.. which my baby is.. I have doubts on myself.. i have conflict within myself too.. should I just give up?? Do I have milk?? should I just give formula milk? I also heart pain to see my baby hungry even after sucking for hours.. Don't you think the most suffering one is the mother herself???
In another side.. breastfeeding is really tiring.. I also have the conflict between should I breastfeed fully exclusively or should I just mixed with formula milk to make my life easier??? But, again I am so stubborn.. although I have sleepless & restless nights.. simply because I just want to give the best to my baby!! Is that wrong too??? I tell myself it is just a transition periods.. it will get better after 1-2 months.. Just bare with it.. I CAN!!! I CAN!! I CAN!!!
whether a mother decide to breastfeed or to formula feed their baby...it is our choice and our decision.. the point is "please support us!!!" cause we are the one who is most care about our baby.. we gone through the 9 months pregnancy with morning sickness.. back pain.. nausea etc.. then gone through the pain of dilation to 10cm.. and gone through the big pain and to push the baby out from the birth canal.. we have gone through so much.. What our request if just during confinement, just give us peace of mind.. and please give your care, love and support... this is what we NEED!!!
See I have milk now.. and everyday I have one bag of extra milk to be stored into the freezer!!
I proved it I can make it!!! 
 see each time I feeding one side.. another breast will leaking these much of milk!!!! who say I don't have milk??
And to all mothers out there.. I salute to all!!! and whatever decision you made.. just stick with it.. and we can really make it happened!!! GAMBATEH!!!


Mui Ngee 美儀 said...

You can!!!! I support u the fullest! And I do very respect mother which can fully breastfeed, cos I had gone thru the process, I do understand the difficulty... And I can't continue after 3.5m, which makes me regret until now... I also believe I will try my utmost to bfeed my next bb... so gambateh ya!!! Salute u!!!

KC said...

Jia you!

Chin Har said...

Chin Har said...
Yvonne, I fully support you coz I had experience like you facing it now. and now my baby already 8 months but I still continue breastfeeding..anyhow please stand firm..you can do it..jia you!

Chin Har said...

Hi Yvonne,

I understand your feeling and totally support you, coz I had experience like what you facing it now. Breastfeeding is not easy task but I can do it. Now my baby already 8 months but I still continue breastfeeding. Anyhow, please stand firm. You can do it. Jia You!!!

Anonymous said...

Emmm...actually i feel regret, i din really breastfeed bcoz i din really work hard, not at all. i m not a good mum :(

BTW, do u mind to tell, is Marcus full breastfeed for first few months?

I hope i can full breastfeed my 2nd if i conceive.

Take Care!

**Anderson Mama**

YvOnNe Fong said...

Anderson Mama: yes I breastfeed exclusively for Marcus for almost 11 months.. stop due to oversea work.. so I was thinking to be fair to mei mei i need to at least feed mei mei exclusively for 11 months too..

SY said...

You are doing extremely good! Keep it up! If you can do it with Marcus for sure u can do it now again!

I would like you to join this group. Extremely helpful and they keep on motivate me throughout my breastfeeding journey :)


MieVee @ MummysReviews.com said...

You're doing well, with milk to store! :) I guess many mums who exclusively breastfeed have tonnes of determination to get obstacles out of the way. My hubby gave great support, so he could help fend off anything negative (luckily there was little).

Moreover, I was the only vegetarian in both our families, through pregnancy and breastfeeding. Imagine the amount of "concerned" suggestions I got. Anyway, baby and I worked through all that.

Jia you!!! :)

Ee Leen said...

Hi Yvonne,

So proud of you. And I will always remember what u told me before I gave birth, if we are determined to breast feed, don't give ourselves another option, don't even buy formula. Bcos of your words of wisdom, I have successfully breastfed my babygirl exclusively for 5.5 months now =)


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